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Feb. 22nd, 2019 02:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emptymanuscriptIt's funny. The way the Joker is funny. My partner and I had a talk about my work this last weekend. More specifically my work output. And how it wasn't cutting it.
We agreed that it would be much better for me to sacrifice some quality in order to go faster. I'm not exactly writing high art. I'm really not writing to have it completely done in this coming draft. So I can fix whatever is wrong. And just, it needs to be done. I'm late. So very late. This book should have been DONE in 2016, instead of me worrying I won't finish in 2019.
And here I am, not working.
The fundamental problem with this book is that it feels so very far beyond my skill. Which was the other thing we talked about: dumb it the f#@% down. I'm not writing the literary equivalent of a rubik's cube either. My book is supposed to be closer to a romp than a riddle. It just needs to... I don't know... communicate the right things which are hard.
Every time I try to nail down what it is that I'm trying to say it feels off. Is it a buddy story? Yeah, totally, because the real spine of the plot are my main characters becoming friends. But is that what the adventure is? No, not really. It's a whydunnit. Because that's the revelations I want to work with, the uncovering of my main character's soul and sins - which is why he is such a misanthropic SOB. But that's theme more than plot. So what's the plot? An evil witch trying to sacrifice children to an elder god while my characters try to stop her. And I don't know... the connection feels loose, like a jiggly plug. So the power keeps going out of the story.
Like it all connects.
James wants to fight Helgapel because he wants to redeem himself from his past mess ups. Helgapel's main weapon is using ghosts and memories to drag James' past mess ups out so Zephyr can witness them. James tries to keep Zephyr at arm's distance because he wants to hide his past. Zephyr accepts James as he is, so they're able to cooperate and throw off Helgapel's magic.
There's just... it doesn't... I dunno... groove, man. I see it but I don't grok it. And I don't know how to fix that.
It's one of those things where if I went back in time to 2014, I'd probably tell myself to make fundamentally different choices. Which makes me wonder if that's what I need to do. Which would mean I've wasted the last three years.
We agreed that it would be much better for me to sacrifice some quality in order to go faster. I'm not exactly writing high art. I'm really not writing to have it completely done in this coming draft. So I can fix whatever is wrong. And just, it needs to be done. I'm late. So very late. This book should have been DONE in 2016, instead of me worrying I won't finish in 2019.
And here I am, not working.
The fundamental problem with this book is that it feels so very far beyond my skill. Which was the other thing we talked about: dumb it the f#@% down. I'm not writing the literary equivalent of a rubik's cube either. My book is supposed to be closer to a romp than a riddle. It just needs to... I don't know... communicate the right things which are hard.
Every time I try to nail down what it is that I'm trying to say it feels off. Is it a buddy story? Yeah, totally, because the real spine of the plot are my main characters becoming friends. But is that what the adventure is? No, not really. It's a whydunnit. Because that's the revelations I want to work with, the uncovering of my main character's soul and sins - which is why he is such a misanthropic SOB. But that's theme more than plot. So what's the plot? An evil witch trying to sacrifice children to an elder god while my characters try to stop her. And I don't know... the connection feels loose, like a jiggly plug. So the power keeps going out of the story.
Like it all connects.
James wants to fight Helgapel because he wants to redeem himself from his past mess ups. Helgapel's main weapon is using ghosts and memories to drag James' past mess ups out so Zephyr can witness them. James tries to keep Zephyr at arm's distance because he wants to hide his past. Zephyr accepts James as he is, so they're able to cooperate and throw off Helgapel's magic.
There's just... it doesn't... I dunno... groove, man. I see it but I don't grok it. And I don't know how to fix that.
It's one of those things where if I went back in time to 2014, I'd probably tell myself to make fundamentally different choices. Which makes me wonder if that's what I need to do. Which would mean I've wasted the last three years.
