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Jan. 9th, 2019 04:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
emptymanuscriptBleh. I just don't want to do anything today. I am in a pop-o-funk. It's tiny and widji like a funk-o-pop doll crossing it's arms and holding its breath in a pathetic little temper tantrum until it turns colors.
Like, there's nothing wrong. I got up at a somewhat reasonable hour. I went to my meeting today. I had lunch. My ankle which may or may not be tendonitis feels better. And still. :/ So it may be my med decrease. Which I really don't want it to be. Because that means I'll have to go back up instead of tapering down and there's just no end in sight.
I would probably feel better if I just got in some writing. It makes me feel better. I just have to type a few words. Just just just. Even a sentence. I'll feel better if I write a sentence. Or make a correction. Or something. I don't know.
I am having too many of these days. I should have been done with this book in 2016. 2017 at the latest. And it is 2019 now. And my immediate thought is that I'm not going to get it done this year. I can't spend this long writing books. Books can't take 6 years to write. There are romance authors who knock two out a month. Every month. And this is year 4 for me. I can't afford to not want to do anything.
And isn't depression supposed to be temporary? like a few months maybe. I just can't afford to keep being depressed forever either. I am spending so much money in health bills. And I'm really just complaining at this point. Sorry. That was definitely a benefit of tumblr, I had my main blog and my vent blog, which nobody read, so it kind of didn't matter what I said.
So, enough venting. I'm going to go write something. And I'm going to feel better because I wrote something. And so there.
Like, there's nothing wrong. I got up at a somewhat reasonable hour. I went to my meeting today. I had lunch. My ankle which may or may not be tendonitis feels better. And still. :/ So it may be my med decrease. Which I really don't want it to be. Because that means I'll have to go back up instead of tapering down and there's just no end in sight.
I would probably feel better if I just got in some writing. It makes me feel better. I just have to type a few words. Just just just. Even a sentence. I'll feel better if I write a sentence. Or make a correction. Or something. I don't know.
I am having too many of these days. I should have been done with this book in 2016. 2017 at the latest. And it is 2019 now. And my immediate thought is that I'm not going to get it done this year. I can't spend this long writing books. Books can't take 6 years to write. There are romance authors who knock two out a month. Every month. And this is year 4 for me. I can't afford to not want to do anything.
And isn't depression supposed to be temporary? like a few months maybe. I just can't afford to keep being depressed forever either. I am spending so much money in health bills. And I'm really just complaining at this point. Sorry. That was definitely a benefit of tumblr, I had my main blog and my vent blog, which nobody read, so it kind of didn't matter what I said.
So, enough venting. I'm going to go write something. And I'm going to feel better because I wrote something. And so there.
