Nah, I think the point of the article is that you aren't weird. That we're in this mess and no one is looking at it right or not talking about it all so we just don't know we're all going through it.
It's interesting that you mentioned unstructured time because that's what my therapist keeps bringing up with me. That I am completely unstructured. If I don't want to go into work today, this week, this month, nothing will happen. I don't have to be in at 10am. Or 10pm. I don't have to go home at 5 or 2. I work completely for myself on my own schedule and if I decide to up and not work, I have an inheritance which will keep me fed and housed. Which is great! But it also means absolutely nothing except my own willpower gets my butt in that chair. Nothing but willpower gets me to check my email. At a time that I feel like it. Which again: great! But what gives me that willpower? What makes me feel like it? I just have to do it. Which comes out to me constantly thinking about it. Or being very purposeful in my I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS.
You've got the obviously bad version of the same thing going. What gets your butt in the chair? Yeah, you have to please your boss but they don't care when or how, just that you do. Sometime. When they need you. Which could be at any second or not at all today or this week. So your mind is going to be doing the same thing, I have to do this, I have to be ready to do x, I now need to not think about x, but I need to have my life arranged that should x demand to be done now everything will fit together and I'll please my boss without disappointing anyone else in my life that I might have otherwise made plans with. Of course that's going to drive you crazy. Because the "you can structure your time however you want," is BS. They're not giving you structure and demanding your readiness without it. It might not be as bad as, "Be ready for anything," but it's on a similar spectrum. I feel like it is in part the lack of structure that is forcing our minds to try and create one when it actually can't be done because what we're trying to structure we are utterly incapable of controlling. :/
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Date: 2019-01-05 10:45 pm (UTC)It's interesting that you mentioned unstructured time because that's what my therapist keeps bringing up with me. That I am completely unstructured. If I don't want to go into work today, this week, this month, nothing will happen. I don't have to be in at 10am. Or 10pm. I don't have to go home at 5 or 2. I work completely for myself on my own schedule and if I decide to up and not work, I have an inheritance which will keep me fed and housed. Which is great! But it also means absolutely nothing except my own willpower gets my butt in that chair. Nothing but willpower gets me to check my email. At a time that I feel like it. Which again: great! But what gives me that willpower? What makes me feel like it? I just have to do it. Which comes out to me constantly thinking about it. Or being very purposeful in my I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT THIS.
You've got the obviously bad version of the same thing going. What gets your butt in the chair? Yeah, you have to please your boss but they don't care when or how, just that you do. Sometime. When they need you. Which could be at any second or not at all today or this week. So your mind is going to be doing the same thing, I have to do this, I have to be ready to do x, I now need to not think about x, but I need to have my life arranged that should x demand to be done now everything will fit together and I'll please my boss without disappointing anyone else in my life that I might have otherwise made plans with. Of course that's going to drive you crazy. Because the "you can structure your time however you want," is BS. They're not giving you structure and demanding your readiness without it. It might not be as bad as, "Be ready for anything," but it's on a similar spectrum. I feel like it is in part the lack of structure that is forcing our minds to try and create one when it actually can't be done because what we're trying to structure we are utterly incapable of controlling. :/